just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
