I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
