I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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