Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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