How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
