Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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