Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
