My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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