They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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