Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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