Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
we should paint friendship bongs
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