tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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