I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize