I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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