I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
