do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
