Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize