found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
