He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
