Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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