I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
