Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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