he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
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I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
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I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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