i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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