I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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