She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
