Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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