After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Verdict: uncircumcised.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
