I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Randomize
