i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
