69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
