I think I died a long time ago.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Randomize
