If you die in college, do you die in real life?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
