Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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