Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
