thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
