went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My feet surprised me
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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