I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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