Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
