And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
