Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
