im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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