im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
