Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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