no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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