At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
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