I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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