i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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