You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
