Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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