he wants to bone in the snuggie
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I've blown a few things in my day
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
