I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
