my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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