WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
