How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
