Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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