on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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