he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
